Toilet Humour

I've just remembered that Monday was spent in the most part trying to unblock the loo.

From what we could make out  the problem was too much paper and not something more untoward. It was fine and then one flush filled the bowl filled up with shredded paper and what looked like bits of leaf. I was concerned for a minute it could mean there was some sort of external plumbing/pipework nonsense or the pipes were connected to another apartment's drains or something, then I remembered that Unit B1 was a total anomaly and nowhere else would dream of doing that. I wish I had Arron's letter to our landlords at this point. Anyway, we made the fatal error of flushing it twice and it was full almost to the brim. Nightmare. We poured a whole bottle of bleach and 2 kettles (this is when it started to resemble rice pudding soup) but nothing was shifting it. At least paper and leaves (which may have been the residue of somebody's digestive tract but we tried to pretend it wasn't) don't smell so it wasn't as bad as it could be. We were hoping it would go down on its own but it didn't. I spent a long time looking up handy hints online, we all had a go with the plunger and destroyed about 6 wire coat hangers to no avail. Dionne was having people over for a meeting and we couldn't contact her so I'm not ashamed to say there were tears and screams and some of us had to be slapped to calm down. When James came home we decided the only way to tackle it was an extreme one. See below:

 

Yeah he went right in there like a trooper. Couldn't shift anything though. We did the honourable thing and jacked it in and called a plumber. We had to go out and get Mexican food just so we could use the loos though. In a way it wasn't so bad as it meant DD's meeting didn't drag on. Utterly vile though. On the plus side La Burrito was not only cheap but delicious, Stewart and Alex couldn't even finish theirs-obviously Fatty Fat Fat Loveday and Greedy Guts Skinny Malinky Loveday left their plates clean as a whistle. If we'd stayed in we probably would've just had spaghetti al pomodoro, just like EVERY OTHER MEAL James eats. I have never seen anybody, Italian or otherwise who can eat the same meal at least twice a day every day and not get bored. Madness.

After Tuesday night's filthy excesses Wednesday was mainly spent on the sofa feeling awful. 5 people in a two bedroom apartment was beginning to take its toll as well; not just on the plumbing. I went to my cousin Cecily's apartment on 5th Avenue to see her and Nikolai and baby Celeste. She is super cute with bright blue eyes and cheeks that I had to stop myself biting. I am not a particular fan of babies per se as you know but this one was topping the polls. She didn't cry at all and was chatting away to herself and crawling about like a nutter. I may steal her at some point. I was feeling pretty rough so despite being offered Prosecco, whisky, wine, Bloody Marys, G&Ts and pretty much anything I wanted I had to sip water and try not to be sick (I was sick in the kitchen sink the night before-while Stewart was making pancakes) I also couldn't even stomach a kettle chip let alone some of the delicious sounding Italian food they were ordering. For shame. I had to go home early and try not to be sick in the taxi that I had taken specifically so as not to risk being sick on the subway; I could not have anticipated such erratic driving, even for a NY cabdriver. Poor Clare.

More later.

Kisses